An “affairs recovery coach” has revealed why people cheat on one another, and how couples can overcome infidelity.
Rece Davies, 43, describes an affair as “an addiction” and claims that people are unfaithful as a “form of escapism” or as a “pain pill”.
After going through her own six-month affair in 2020, Rece became a coach to help couples who want to rekindle their relationship.
Davies, who has been with her husband for 19 years, married for 17, says her affair ended after they dealt with issues that they were “suppressing”.
The US-based relationship expert said: “I ended up in a really dark spot and had an affair.
“Through my experience, I have been able to learn, and research. I found out a lot of truths that I had no clue about before.
“I discovered that so many affairs are exactly the same – even though the stories might start differently. They all follow very similar patterns, and we end up lying to ourselves.
“We believe the lies we tell and when you realise that so many of them are the same story – you just want to help people wake up to the truth of it.”
According to Davies, many affairs start because people are in need of an “escape” or “pain pill” to help them cope with hardships – such as loss, illness, or a high-stress job, coupled with relationship problems.
She supports both “the betrayers and the betrayed” as a relationships coach.
“I help both to try and see the truth of what really happened,” she explains.
“Affairs are addictive and there is a reason why, when someone gets involved and makes those choices, it is hard to get out.
“It is because you get chemically addicted, there are dopamine hits that happen in your brain that makes them addicted to this person.
“I help the betrayed to understand that and I also help people who are betraying to see the truth of this being more of an addiction than the love of your life.”
Davies says she helps couples by speaking honestly about their situation, because some people “lie to [themselves] about never having feelings for your spouse or say how you never really loved them”.
She wants to help these people “remember the truth of your relationship” and discover their self-worth again.
“A lot of times, shame and guilt makes you continue certain things too because you feel like an awful human being,” she says.
“Because it is an addiction, you lie to yourself constantly. You feel like you’re in a soul mate, twin flame relationship when really you are just in an addiction.”
She added: “You need to really see the truth of the red flags of the situation and really work on your self-worth.”
Recalling her own experience, Davies says her affair began after she and her husband went through “a couple of hard years”, but she had been “trying to handle it all myself”.
“I was open, not knowingly, but open and vulnerable for somebody to need validation from,” she explains.
“Unfortunately, a lot of times, affairs are someone from your past or a co-worker and somebody that you have always felt safe with and then it develops into something.
“My own family was like, ‘What are you doing? Who are you?’
“Luckily I had friends who weren’t encouraging it and were calling me out – telling me I wasn’t being myself.”
Reporting by SWNS